First of all, feeling like you want to make yourself emotionally numb means that you are in an extreme amount of pain. Emotional Pain.
People who experience intense emotional pain have been most likely living in a situation that has created such pain for a while and it has been building up.
So it is completely understandable why you want to make yourself emotionally numb as this means survival to you.
There are a couple of techniques that you can use to do that [note here: I only recommend using that short time].
Learning presence/Mindfulness
To do this concentrate completely on now. For example, if right now you are sitting on your bed, you only concentrate on sitting on the bed. Right this second. If you are sitting here reading this that means that you have some level of peace. At least this minute. Focus on you breathing in. Focus on Breathing out. Listen to the space between thoughts. A great book I recommend for this is "Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.
2. Learning Disidentification
Notice that the part that feels pain is not the totality of you. Feel if there are other parts of your personality that feel to some degree in control. It could be that you have a part in you that feels angry, or part of you that feels cold and indifferent, philosophical* - that doesn't feel that much pain. Then imagine that you put one of those personalities in charge for the time being and the part of you that feels overwhelmed with pain you send to have rest in the safe room.** You can even imagine those parts having a conversation and the strong part telling the vulnerable part that it can take a rest for a while and visualize them changing positions. You can learn more about this process in "Parts Work".
Here's a video that I made to answer the question>>
The second part is this.
Why do I only recommend using these techniques only for a short time? Because when it is used for a long time it might become a kind of like a "painkiller". Especially if it works extremely well and numbs the emotional pain completely, then you might think that you don't have a problem. The truth is the problem most likely is still there.
And what is the problem?
To answer that you need to ask yourself what things brought you to this point of emotional pain in the first place? It could be things like poor boundaries, unhealthy relationships, unhealed emotional traumas. So to truly resolve the problem you need to become aware of what is in you that is causing this situation. Yes, it could be that the actions of other people caused you to feel that way, and most of the time that is the way we see it.
However, it is very important that you learn about yourself, your relationship with yourself, emotional sensitivity, being an empath and what to do about it. It is very important that you would find empowerment with yourself and not to numb and disassociate yourself from your feelings completely and permanently. Because if you do that, you will also lose access to emotions such as joy, compassion, gratitude.
And if it is too much of the pain to deal with it on your own find somebody who can help and support you. You deserve to feel empowered and have a happy life.
I hope that that helps.
Ruta
*our personality is basically a combination of loads of personalities - you can look this up if you wanted to know more
**safe room is any place where you feel safe. Could be imaginary or real.
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